Monday, 12 September 2016


Hurray Meg is turning 15 today! 

It is her Birthday a day after the attack at the twintowers in New York. I stil remember how hard my belly got seeing these planes fly into the towers. Every channel showed it. I Thought these belly pains were from seeing this but day after they were contractions. at 17:59 h. Mechttildis alias Meg was born. Doubts about how the world would change when she would grow up... A world war III ? We didn't even feel like adding out a flag  outside our house to show we got something to celebrate. We waited 2 days  found it inappropiate to do so when so many people died in New York.

Back to today... 15 years later, The things happened to her in June 2014 was not in my imagination, Somehow I feel sad on this festive day. That normal healthy child is not there anymore and I really miss that a lot today. All the fighting to survive, therapies, adjustments, wheelchair, wheelchairbus, divorce, rented home, special school, diapers, her stil not at home due to not able to shower her..... she is not able to cycle, go to school by herself with a bunch of children going to the same school, talking is stilll not there , (but I keep faith in it, I hear her sometimes) it all makes me cry.
Which is good, needs to come out  too. so even 15 years later no flag out today.
Janna baked at grandma's place a cake for Meg 

We held her birthdayparty yesterday, family and some freinds came and it was fun, but today it all feels so double.
She is at school now, We blockstamped each classmates firts letter on handkerchiefs using the handkerchief as wrapping paper around a simple healthy apple. For the teacher I cut some flowers from my garden. I drove Janna first to school, so proud of that daughter too!. Then to Meg's room in the clinic, to get her cloths and chargers back in her room. the "nurses there were singing when we came in :) they written on the chalkboard a message to Meg :
Then off to her school. as she had the flowers at her table at the wheelchair all were looking. Girls form her class yelled Happy Birthday to you Meg!! and came closer. the other teachers on the corridor congratulated her and me too.  arriving at her classroom, the doorway was decorated with paper garlands and one window too. at the whiteboard was a also written congratulations Meg 15 years! Meg was smiling from ear to ear. I think she wil have a nice day. after school her father picks her up and they wil go to the drumclass, she is now playing bongo's . this evening we wil be eating in a restaurant "de kastanjeboom". That was her wish, she is asking to eat there for a long time. when that is done we wil drive her back to the clinic...

Happy Birthday Sweet Meg. I love you and am very Happyand gratefull to stil have you <3 <3 <3